Should you wait or is it time to move on? Having difficulty making a decision?
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Deciding whether to wait or move on is a tough decision.
And there’s really no one set answer. People are fascinating, complicated, emotional and unique. We come with our own history, expectations, past wounds, and family dynamics, among other things.
Here are some factors to consider before making a decision to wait or move on:
1. Consider how long you’ve been waiting for this person to commit.
Only you can decide whether you think you’re done waiting. If you believe it’s been a very long time you’ve waited around for him, perhaps it’s time to consider moving on.
On the other hand, if you’ve been trying to hurry the relationship along unrealistically, consider what your motivation might be.
- Are you scared he might leave?
- Do you believe you’re not good enough for him?
2. What are his reasons for not committing?
Take some time to listen to his thoughts and feelings around commitment. Maybe he has some valid reasons for taking it slow. Keep an open mind to his opinion.
3. What is your timeline?
Consider your own needs and your vision for your life.
- How does he fit in with it?
- Do you find yourself compromising on values or goals?
- Do you find yourself frustrated because you’re allowing this relationship to keep existing without a definite plan?
It’s ok to communicate your needs and let him know you’ll move on with your life if he’s not ready.
Acknowledge his own timeline is valid in the same way yours is.
This is not the time to be petty or to try to manipulate him. Be clear about it and speak from your own perspective. If you are on different pages with your relationship, then that’s an important thing to know. Better to realize this now rather than in ten years.
4. How do you view yourself?
Take some time to consider who you are and your own worth. Do you think you are deserving of a healthy relationship? How does this present relationship align with your view of yourself?
5. How do you view commitment?
Think about your values around commitment. Sometimes we’re so focused on a label or title and we miss experiencing the present moment.
Ask yourself what is driving your need for a commitment.
Does getting him to commit mean you can announce that you’ve attained a certain social status or that you’ve met a certain expectation from others?
Only you can make the final decision whether to wait or move on. Remember to be realistic and keep the communication flowing!