Is there a moral duty to disclose that you’re transgender to a potential partner?
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Is not disclosing that you were assigned male at birth, as a transgender person, sexual assault by fraud?
In some jurisdictions like England or Israel you can go to prison for not disclosing that you were assigned male or female at birth.
Recently, I was listening to an interview with comedian Lil Duval.
Duval stated that if he slept with a transgender person, but was not aware that they were transgender, how would be disgusted. Lil Duval said that he would be so hurt and angry that his choices were taken away by the dishonesty. So much so, that he would have to commit the crime of murder.
The question that seems to be floating around on social media; is does a transgender person have an ethical or moral obligation to inform a potential sex partner of his or her transgender status before the two people have sexual relations?
Transphobia
Some people within the LGBTQ community claim that disclosure could put trans people in great harm.
However, given the possibility of transphobia and the risk associated violence, would prior disclosure maximize the safety of the transgender person?
I posed this question to my private instagram page. I found that the majority of people agreed that trans people should indeed disclose their history. Most people agreed that disclosure would constitute a “best practice” in terms of safety and all-around satisfaction.
Emotional rape
In my opinion, I feel that some people might feel traumatized by having had sex, unwittingly, with a person of the same gender assigned at birth. Or even, perhaps, if gay or lesbian, with a person of the opposite gender assigned at birth.
In fact, I also believe that trauma ought to count as a harm.
It matters
The sex of one’s partner matters a great deal to an overwhelming majority of people. That is, few of us, including straight people, gay men, and lesbians, would be indifferent to the sex of a potential partner. For example, if going on a blind date, most of us would want to ensure that the other person on the date is of a particular sex. That seems like a standard procedure. Rather than just leaving it up to the matchmaker and saying “hey surprise me.” Right?
In conclusion, you would also assume that if a man or a woman was straight then they would only be attracted to someone of the opposite sex. It simply stands to reason. Therefore to put a straight man on a blind date with another man would be unethical.
Ilegal
In the United Kingdom, trans people can face rape charges and potentially a lengthy prison term; if they fail to disclose their gender history to their sexual partners. Why is this not common practice in the United States?
Under UK law, deceiving someone about the nature of a sex act makes them incapable of informed consent.
This means penetrative sex may amount to rape if the partner claimed they were unaware of a transgender person’s history. Under section 74 of the sexual offences act it gives the definition of consent: “A person consents for the purposes of this act if he/she agrees by choice and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.”
Non-disclosure of gender history can thus be seen as deception and a breach of the Sexual Offences act, challenging the “freedom and capacity” of a partner to consent to sexual activity.
I agree. If you are a transgender you should let the person you’re interested in know up front. If not, that is rape!
On this subject I agree 100%. I would want to be told before anything happens, so I can judge for myself how I want things to go. If I found out later that information was withheld, I would be mad AF.
Disclosure is imperative, in which to save that human being’s life. I could not imagine being betrayed in such a most personal manner. Some of the trans community needs to learn a rule of thumb, playing with someone’s emotions can sometimes be deadly. The US is a joke. They have allowed these people to receive rights that as Black people, who went through more struggles than anyone on this planet don’t receive. These people try to say that they have as big of a struggle as Black people. But, from my knowledge if you were white and gay or lesbian, you can hide your sexual orientation, but as a black person you can hide your sexual orientation, but you cannot hide being black. Because I don’t remember of learning about the transatlantic LGBT slave trade. This country will continue to cater to this community and will more than likely not have these people disclose their true gender.
You are absolutely correct there was NO TransAtlantic LGBT Slave trade.
Well Said and thank you.
I think they should before the relationship becomes physical and or deep feelings and emotions get involved. It’s just better for both parties involved for everything to be out and known.
Yes, they should absolutely disclose their real gender identity – social construct or not!
Allow the person to make the decision for themselves as to whether or not he or she wants to be in a relationship with you.
Transgender women and their supporters are hateful gaslighters! These people are trying to redefine who a woman is and I am tired of their bullshit! I’m tired of staying silent about it and I’m not going to allow them to bully me. I don’t care if they wear makeup, dress, and heels they still think and behave like men. Of course they look better than some women. They put on 3lbs of makeup and false eye lashes, a wig, stuff their bras, push their penises to the side, and wear padding to give them some curves, yes they are going to look better than some women. Take all the makeup off and they are ugly tired looking men with shaved off eyebrows. Whatever!
I don’t support transgender women who call black women “jealous black bitches”. These fake ass women have no idea what it’s like to be a women nor do they support biological women. They even hate lesbians.
They would even you believe that ALL straight men want transgender women and don’t want straight (ugly) biological women. They are desire of straight men. Thank goodness you set me straight (no pun intended) on this. I thought we were done as a human species.
Thank you for posting the video. Your timing couldn’t have been better. I feel validated.
I agree 1000% with your comment. Thank you.
Stay safe
I’m a lesbian. And you are right, trans women hate us just because we’re not into d*ck.
I agree. I’m not even sexually active yet but I even know that this is wrong to not make this known (being trans). It is unfair to the other person. However, people need to know human anatomy to prevent these problems lol
Yes, if they can go through all the trouble to identify themselves as an opposite sex the public has the right to know otherwise in my eyes they are wrongfully imposing their transgender views on to us unknowingly is that Fair to society? They are violating our rights to choose freely.
Like anything private about your life trans, nonbinary cis or what ever u identify as. You dont share with people unless you trust them. You dont go around showing your sex organs to just anyone . So it should be treated like anything else .if you been talking to someone for awhile and u think ure interested in them and u tell them ure trans or what ever that’s is what it is. I personally dont give my medical history to anyone unless I’m with them and trust them. Everyone else dont need to know everything.
I totally agree.💜
Thank You 👏👏
Angel, the timing of this conversation could not be more appropriate. Thank You. 👍🏾
🔥The Equality Act has emboldened transgender women and bisexuals (male & female) who feel that it is acceptable to deceive, lie and emotionally harm others who are straight.
🔥I thoroughly agree with Angel, Charlemagne and L’il Duval.
I also feel that any person’s harmed by these people be charged with rape!
🔥What you do with your life is your business, but when my life is involved I will have No Mercy on you.
Note that the people who are the most welcoming towards trans are ironically the ones who are most punished for it. If you are a nice guy who forces himself to go through the trauma of a sexual trans encounter in order to not be labelled trans phobic, then you will suffer permanent mental scarring for your kindness, and only you will have to deal with it, those people won’t help you even though they caused it. Also, women are the group who fight back the least against trans invasion, and look how they are punished, women’s sport destroyed by biological males, women’s toilets being adapted to accommodate for biological males, even female words in the vocabulary being adjusted, “woman” becomes “person”, even the word “mother”, the most sacred word in the dictionary, being slowly wiped by these people. It’s really tragic, and exposes just what an ungrateful group of selfish people dominate the trans movement.
I agree with this. Straight men and lesbians shouldn’t be pressured into liking penises and gay men and straight women shouldn’t be pressured into liking vaginas. Your gender identity has nothing to do with your biological sex which determines if you are male or female. Even intersex people are either male or female. Gender is just a made up concept dictating how men and women should act and what roles they can play in society. A man can wear a dress and a wig but that doesn’t make him a woman. He’ll never know what it’s like to be a woman. A woman can wear a men’s suit but that doesn’t make her a man. She’ll never know what it’s like to be a man. If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone it’s best to disclose. If you’re going to compete in sports it’s best to disclose.
I hear you, it’s called “Deception”… 🔥
I agree with you completely, Angel. I am 100% lesbian, and even I can say that I would never want to date and/or have sex with a transgender person, whether it’ll be a transgender man or a transgender woman, ESPECIALLY a transgender woman. I am NOT attracted to penises or somebody that is physically presenting themselves as a man. Because, well, I’m not attracted to men. Plain and simple. I am ONLY attracted to other biologically born females. That includes the female anatomy (breasts, vulva, vagina, uterus, ovaries, widened pelvis, hourglass body type, etc.) When I come out as lesbian to certain people, even if they are not homophobic, they always tell me that I should give men a chance. People even have questioned me about how certain I am about labeling myself as a homosexual female and they actually said that how can I know that I am not into men if I haven’t had sexual intercourse with one. And I’m like, “How do you know you’re not into other females if YOU haven’t had sex with one?” I don’t have to like men at all. I have every right to stick to being attracted to other girls. You can’t force that upon me. You can’t.
To be honest, I don’t see trans women as women or trans men as men. If that makes me a transphobe, then I’m a very proud transphobe. And biology is transphobic, too.