“Women don’t want good men, they want thugs.” Do women really not like nice guys? Is it pointless being a good man?
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I’m sure you’ve all heard the following statements “Nice guys finish last” or “Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen”. Many men believe women don’t know what they want. Some men think women say they want the picket fence and family but what they really want is the “bad boy” who will break their heart.
All over the internet you can find videos of men telling other men that women don’t want nice guys. They teach them “the ways to get a woman into bed”. So many men now believe that women don’t want a good man. They sell books and self help guides that essentially teach men to stop being nice guys.
However, there here have been many studies that have shown this claim to be untrue. One found that women found altruistic men more attractive. Another found that women prefer men who are confident, easy-going and sensitive, and very few preferred men who were aggressive or demanding. Though they did like confidence and assertiveness, other studies have even shown that characteristics such as warmth, basic decency and warmth can make us appear more attractive, regardless of gender.
The entitled “nice guy”
There are also some self proclaimed nice guys, that are actually so far from being a nice guy. Just because you have a good job, a degree, or you don’t have a criminal conviction, doesn’t mean that you’re actually a nice guy.
I mean, it is kind of self explanatory: In order to be a nice guy, you actually have to BE a nice guy. Having a good job and no criminal conviction does not give you the right to be a total douche bag.
Then there are actual good men that get friend zoned. But here’s the thing, just because you’re a nice guy doesn’t mean she is obligated to find you attractive or has to date you. You might be genuinely a nice guy, but maybe you’re just not quite right her for her.
Women are confusing
Yes women are confusing…. But the main reason for that, is because ALL women are different.
Many men ask why women go for bad guys. Though I think more often than not, this statement is simply not true. Some indeed go for guys who they know will break their heart. This is a small percentage of all women — though I’m sure some men will disagree and say it’s more.
Some women simply didn’t know the person was terrible until it was too late. Narcissists, for example, are often perceived as very attractive when you initially meet them due to them putting in a lot of effort into their appearance and their charm.
Other women may have already fallen in love, before knowing they are with an abuser.
Bruh, you’re boring
Many men fall into the trap of believing being kind is all that it takes and in turn lack in personality. Who wants to be with someone that lacks substance. Most women like confidence and assertiveness (not to be mistaken for being domineering or controlling).
Predicability can get a little dull. I’m not saying you need to be outlandish but being less passive is a start.
You’re not that nice
Many men believe they’re nice guys, but they’re quite the opposite. Any guy who claims they’re a nice guy rarely ever is, they’re opportunistic. They leave out favors and breadcrumbs in the hopes of catching bait. But actual nice guys aren’t nice to get sex. Nor do they need to megaphone their greatness and accomplishments at every single turn because they are too busy being genuinely kind.
Don’t just say you’re nice… Prove it.
But it’s always more complicated than this. So watch the video to find out exactly why some “women don’t like nice guys”.